Funny I wrote that line yesterday – Apparently, this morning, we had an earthquake. I didn’t feel it.
Archive for March, 2009
31
Mar
09
Earthquake.
30
Mar
09
something like a poem
I visited the bison today and watched the sunset over the ocean.
I almost feel whole.
I am wrapped in a blanket, contemplating my existence under the tenderloin stars, while a unicorn kisses a pony that has pink mittens joyfully rammed up its ass.
All the tranny prostitutes across from me shout in unison, and jiggle like earthquakes. the shrieking sirens remind me of something that disappears before I can say it
29
Mar
09
Song.
This is another song I wrote and threw a quick video together w/my Paint drawings. Enjoy!
25
Mar
09
Week 2. Day 2.
I was told that if people laugh during my set, it means I didn’t bomb. I don’t know if I agree. I think 98%of what I’ve done thus far is for the birds.
I went to 2 mikes tonight. Getting back into it, starting to recognize people and say “hello” once in awhile. There was a nasty brawl and the cops came in the middle of the second mike. There’s a time when that might’ve seemed exciting, said in the voice of a tired octogenerian rocking in a rocking chair.
A comic picked on John. John laughed but I didn’t like it. I finally had to get out when the guy onstage was going on and on about whether a guy outside was looking at my ass. Nothing so shocking or terrible, I just don’t always like to be reminded that I have an ass.
I’ll post another video if/when I actually feel like I’m getting there. I say “like” and “um” and “motherfucker” too much, and I don’t have time throughout the work week to work on material. There truly isn’t a second of free time.
It seems like the weekend is my crash and burn time, from here I have a couple hours on Sunday when I can rise like a Special Olympics phoenix (that reference to Obama’s bowling joke is probably as political as I’ll ever get) trying to emerge from the ashes and almost doing it! writing maybe 1.5 jokes, and then during the week, I just go up onstage and blurt things.
This is almost torture, but will I let that stop me? Right now, I would rather die a humilated, tragic death.
I am exhausted, in a good way.
I went back to the open mike, this time without my robot therapist. It went well, considering I still feel kinda sad I’m not as polished as if I’d been doing this daily for 25 years.
I am so tired.
Video documentation shortly, soon as it uploads.
It didn’t upload correctly after 2 attempts. Perhaps it’s for the best.
23
Mar
09
A heap.
That’s what I’ve collapsed into. I could barely move all day, feverish/exhausted as hell.
I dreamt last night I was the emcee of an awards ceremony that was in a gymnasium type place, but all I had prepared for my opening number was a couple yellow notepages with disparate scrawlings and all my self-centered fears written down, so that was what I read, and the crowd was less than enthusiastic.
Today, I ran out of toilet paper and had two tissues left in the box. I dragged my carcass to the Rite Aid on the corner. Would you believe they did not have a single roll of toilet paper! Everything else a drugstore could offer, but not one square of what is most important. Rest assured, I was able to procure a roll elsewhere.
Once I’m better, I’m going to Chicago to assist my grandma, who at 90 years old, is apparently in need of more help than she’s wanted to admit. I don’t know how long I’ll be there, probably less than a week.
I fell asleep at 8pm and just woke up an hour ago. I keep doing such things.
I had a dream that for some sort of rite of passage, I had to do all sorts of weird things kissing my friend’s shoed feet. I’d have to get int0 some sort of pretzel like position while the clouds puffed through the breezy blue sky and like pick gum from the sole of the shoe and then do a backflip and wave hello to strangers from other countries while talking to the feet like we were doing a puppet show.
Fortunately, this is not a recurring dream.
21
Mar
09
tonight tonight tonight
I am cold and feel a bit ill. There is something going around. I fell asleep for hours and woke up now. This is thrilling.
Thinking about the next round of mikes. I may have to sic Harry on some of these crowds. This is Harry:
Photos by Shari Swan.
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