Caila Lipovsky

I laughed harder than I’ve ever laughed in my entire life today, over something entirely ridiculous.

My co-worker is a big fan of Rick Springfield, and Look! You can take a 5 day cruise with him, if you like!

She was checking out the scoop online, dreaming aloud of bearing his love child.

I had a thought.

“What would you rather do…” and promptly doubled over laughing.

“Oh, Caila’s coming out with the what would you rather do’s! Would I rather what.”

I kept laughing, I couldn’t speak. After some time unmanageably trying to choke out the words with much encouragement from my friend, I finally spat it out as quickly as possible.

“What would you rather do if you had to do one of the following:  Rick Springfield’s face in your butt or your face in Rick Springfield’s butt.”

She said “I would never want his face in my butt, I’d be horrified he would hate my butt and would never talk to me again. I’d have to put my face in Rick’s butt and I’d be so happy.”

I said “What if it was a guarantee he would not even have any sort of judgement activator in his brain, he’d be happy, you’d just feel the sensation of Rick Springfield’s face in your butt, that’s all.”

“I would NEVER want his face in my butt. I would just put my face in his butt, that’s all.”

At this I laughed so hard I fell down on the ground. I thought I might die, I about blacked out, there was no oxygen, and my heart hurt.  I felt my face wrinkle up and contort in a hundred raisin like positions and had to run to a corner, hiding my head in my arm, crying with insane laughter, until I could function.