If you happen to read my blog and feel like doing me a favor, would you mind helping me get started performing again?  I can’t seem to do it of my own volition, and I miss it quite a bit.  It’s a little harder to find time right now what with the class I’m taking, not sure how to make it happen…  Okay, have a good night!  Love, Caila

If my posts are sparse for a wee bit, you’ll know why.

THE VIDEO:  Music video for “She Loves You But…”  A minimalist, comedic montage of desolate loneliness spliced with joyous freedom.

?(Dance moves.   A scene w/two people doing a sad dance.  i.e.  ”She” hands him a big paper heart, “He” takes it in one hand, reaching for her crotch with the other.  She darts out of his reach, He clutches the heart.  She dances.  Perhaps I will play both characters, possibly Harry and Margerie.    Perhaps I’ll make a love triangle and will add Lucy to the mix.)?

Perhaps Harry is in a college classroom, sitting at a desk among far younger college students.  A cell phone rings.  He reaches into his bag, pulling out a phone(an old school home phone, perhaps a rotary), thinking it’s his.  A girl next to him answers her phone, looking lively and titillated.  We can tell she is on the phone with her sex partner.

THE INTENDED MESSAGE:  It’s tomfoolery, intended to amuse and entertain, simultaneously poking fun at and embracing current pop trends by featuring extremely  downtrodden, disenfranchised characters in a song with a trendy beat and lyrics only slightly more pronouncedly ridiculous than those that dominate the pop charts and airwaves.

THE AUDIENCE:  20-30 somethings.  Alternative comedy fans.  (Is there such a thing as alternative comedy now?  Or has everything alternative and rebellious been infiltrated by mainstream media, corporation-ified and diluted into mind numbing, brain putrefying hogwash?) Youtube viewers.

SHOTS:  Some school stuff. i.e.  Harry brings Margerie an apple, she bites it and sits.  He tries to sit on her, she dodges him, he falls down.  A shot of him gazing at her while she gazes out the window.  the bell rings, class ends, Lucy runs out, Harry chases her.   Perhaps Margerie is the teacher.  Perhaps Lucy is another student.   Dance shots in the studio.  Green screen, dreamlike sequences.

TALENT: I can play a few characters. We need some extras, which we can cast with our classmates.

CREW:  We need a camera operators and a DP.  I’ll plan the shots and will edit it, please..?

Ok, thank heavens for this blog.  It made doing a homework assignment feel like nothing.  I need to stretch this out a wee bit, plan the shots better and expand it to a 2 page paper, but there’s no reason I can’t do that by tomorrow night.  Peace.

The background was pink, and he perched his toothily grinning, self-satisfied face on a handsome hand.

I stared into his 2 dimensional eyes and knew he’d never be mine.

Update:  Kirk Cameron is now an active Christian evangelist and is a partner in running the Way of The Master ministry.

It’s probably for the best he didn’t come and get me–seems we’re not as compatible as I’d presumed.

Click here to take a quiz and see if Kirk Cameron thinks you’re going to hell!

The #1 bus was crammed to a vulgar degree.  Bags and large guts poked me, armpits hovered as bristly people grabbed the grimy overhead bars. I stood and hovered my own armpit over a small woman with Down’s syndrome who was picking skin off of her fingers, which were flaky and red, fingernails picked down to nubs.  After a few stops, her caretaker screamed at her to get up and get off! Overwhelmed,  I promptly sat in her vacated seat quickly, and the elderly couple sitting on both sides of me started shouting at each other in Chinese.  Suddenly, I smelled the most unseemly of odors which seemed to be coming from my seat.  I jumped up shrieking.  The bus laughed like a callous, overjoyed whale (the vehicle itself), shaking me in its belly.  I looked down at the seat–a touch of dampness, no rusty puddle, thank heavens.

What the hell did I sit in?

“Jesus Christ!” I yelled, and ran to the back of the bus–I noticed the elderly couple were angling to look at my ass to see if I had sat in diarreah.

I hadn’t but this was horrible, and I was running too late to go back home and change.

I came barking into work with my hair on fire.  Kaila checked out my ass and said she didn’t see or smell anything foul, but I still asked that she help spray me down with lysol, which I ordinarily loathe.

I have never been so happy to come home and one-handedly wash my own ass.

Take a cup of water, fill it with at least four ounces, put your bottom lip against the side of the cup that’s furthest from you, bend your head down toward your toes, and drink upside down.

The sensation is insane, mighty good for a laugh, and it worked immediately!

He learned this as a kid on Sesame Street.  I couldn’t find that episode, but I did find this:

It’s five fifty-two and you look at your phone

try to hide deny it to yourself  you know you’re alone

feel the cold inside the blood don’t rush it clings to the bone

grab the paper hide your face sit on the porcelain throne

Chorus:

She loves you but she don’t want to be with you

(be with you.  ooo)

She loves you but she don’t want to be with you

(be with you.  ooo)

Verse:

It’s six thirty-one and you look at your plate

you gotta piece of broccoli and a burnt piece of steak

look over at the table your inflatable date

she sees you got no room for food

when you’re so full of hate

Chorus:

She loves you but she don’t want to be with you

(be with you.  ooo)

She loves you but she don’t want to be with you

(be with you.  ooo)

Bridge:

How many roads must a man walk down

before he can walk up inside yours

And how many seas must a white dove sail

before she’ll sail through your bedroom doors

And how many times must the cannon balls fly

before she wants to fly to YOUR cannon balls, too?

the answer my friend–she won’t blow you in the wind

cuz she loves you but she don’t want to be with you.

(sung part…? she loves you but she doesn’t want to be with you!  uh uh uh how many ways has she got to say she doesn’t want to be pressed against you? uh uh uh  you didn’t make her feel right  she had to turn on the light she said no thank you tonight and every other single night  she loves you more than herself but she needs somebody else, so just move on move on move on…?)

Verse:

It’s eight forty-seven and the phone still don’t ring.

standing by the window holding onto your thing

like a dying autumn leaf tryin to remember the spring

a yellow chicken realizing it can’t fly with its wings because

Chorus 2x

(SONG COMING SOON)